it’s my organic chem test tomorrow and i’m far from prepared. i decided to do some serious update on my blog instead of staring at john mcmurry’s organic chemistry pages and finding the “did you know?” sections more readable than the actual text.
i’ve been busy, but not busy. busy in a sense that i have a number of commitments, like driving, tuition et cetera. but i guess i’m not as busy as some around me still. after all, it’s only sem 1! still it is taking much of my time; i have no chance to go out and play; i miss clubbing, and -wow!- only watched 1 movie in the past 3 weeks!
on the other hand, i’m not busy in a sense that, whenever i have free time, i squander it all away. take now for example. i really ought to be studying for my test but i totally lost my motivation. when i try to go study with zhiyang we ended up going ktv instead. at home, i have to deal with the “axis of evil” on my computer: wikipedia, youtube, msn.
which may explain why i didn’t do so well in my mid terms. for some modules i still did satisfactorily, but this week’s result really shocked me, though it didn’t propel me into really intensive mugging action still. i received a dreadful C+ for my biodiversity essay. all the other people who did equally badly declared s/u (satisfactory/unsatisfactory) for that module. being overly complacent about my essay writing skills, i made the incredibly unwise decision to opt for the traditional -difficult- grading scheme. apart from that, i also received my latest lab report, which was awarded a B grade – pretty low considering the professor gives A machiam giving out flyers liddat.
at this rate i’m going, i’ll have to give up my life science minor which requires a B+ average to continue. even after seeking a few dean-listers advice and being told that if i work doubly hard, i can still earn a B+ in the end, my drive did not increase. and try as i may, i can’t make myself let go of the life science minor, which is possibly the only interesting thing i’ll be studying in the next 4 years.
friends-wise; not much; really haven’t been socializing. however, i’ve been hanging out with a small group of friends in uni, and have become comfortable enough to talk rubbish and cut the formalities. we have generally the same interests and priorities in life, and some of us even share similarities in stuff that we have previously applied and kena rejected 
. maybe slowly i’ll start talking more. and hopefully not too much to the point where i stop listening to what others have to say – something i’m very much guilty of.
hair-wise, or the lack of it: i’m now sporting the tekong recruit GI number 3 style. 4 people in the same day telling me my hair “spoil” is too much to take. coincidentally, i cut my hair shortly after i bumped into my medicine friends / ex-close friends – which means everyone (in general) who matters to me have seen my sephiroth-ish hair at least once 
.
cca-wise, i’m currently in both fencing and piano ensemble. and still deciding which one to stay. in fencing, i’m close to hopeless and none of my ex-fencer friends are joining; in piano ensemble, i know i’m not good enough. talking about professional performers here.
i’ve been going to church on sundays for the past couple of weeks. but i’m still finding it hard to open my heart fully and accept Christ in me- something is holding my faith back. the past 10+ years or so of exposure to the faith has formed a severely misrepresented and definitely wrong impression in me. and it’s hard to get rid of, though i’m trying. even in times of struggle, i sometimes even have blasphemous thoughts, and feel like giving up. but i know prayers do work; and i know He’s up there listening to everyone, and i’m grateful for that. i prayed, and my father’s injured leg healed, and he even found a hawker stall to rent for his roast duck. within the past 1+ week, i haven’t heard him blowing his top when at home – a remarkable achievement indeed!
ok, time for some last minute chao-piahing. test tmr morning… probably a DOA for me.
