DO NOT WATCH MAX PAYNE. Saturday, Oct 18 2008

It does not have decent reviews, and is another example of how a fantastic game can be ruined by its movie adaptation.

argh damnit.

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Whose interest First? Saturday, Oct 18 2008

This is a spontaneous post, just before I go out to meet zy to watch max payne. Ah well I did say the removal of all the blood just to make it a family-friendly film is not doing justice to the show, but it does seem to have decent reviews, so heck why not watch it.

Yesterday I sent my cn3108 H1 report to xinli to refer for his own report. I have told him IF HE SPOTS ANY MISTAKES PLEASE DON”T TELL ME. But no that ass has to spot one huge mistake in my group’s report, and then tell me hey he thinks I did it wrongly. (sorry for the strong word, he’s really a nice guy to bully lol.)

And you know, this is not a good thing. This report will probably end up getting I dunno, B at best, or maybe even B-. Because it is quite a big mistake. For that moment I was really damn sian, SHIT why was I lazy? Why didn’t I double check with my lab mates to prevent such a mistake? And I was almost becoming worried about my results again. Consistent telling myself that God will provide did assure me a little, but only a little. I mean, we all know that God doesn’t ensure us to have good grades all the time. God doesn’t promise a Christian life without any challenges. So what does that mean? YES I may actually screw up this module!!! O_O!!!!

What the heck am I thinking right?! Firstly, the fact that God will provide is indeed an amazing thing, if you think about it longer. God who gives and takes away, for the good of all things, and for the good of us. And having all “good” things doesn’t mean it’s the best for us, I mean all of us know that. I was just reading Triumph in Troubled Times by john macarthur, which is really a great article. I printed it out and read parts of it a few times now. He has listed out the good in the “bad”.

Trials tests the strength of our faith. Trouble humbles us. Trouble weans us from the world (this particularly applies to me) Trouble gives us perseverance, perseverance gives us character, character gives us hope. Trouble tests us who we love more. Trouble teaches us to value God. Trouble is all for the good of all who believes in Him. Trouble is God chastening us. Trouble puts God’s glory in display.

I guess it is in times of trouble that we are driven to the point that we have absolutely no choice but to cling on to God, the only thing we have. And then practise our trust in Him. And it is in times of trouble where people will see how the glory of God works in us, how we can tide over difficulties, with God’s strength, and how God will always be faithful to us.

Today I learnt another lesson. We should always do things with God’s interests first. Once we put His interest first, He will give us the desires of our heart. I am trying to figure out how to go about doing that, but first things first, I will have to start studying for the glory of God, if I haven’t done so now. Meaning, no matter how bad things are, I should not worry, should not slack off saying since I can’t catch up there’s no need to study, because the main reason for studying is not to do well for exams, but rather for the glory of God. If He wants me to serve my role as a student well, then I shall be obedient to Him. That said, results are still important, but I think I will just try my best and you know, leave everything to Him. God will provide – this is a marvelous promise! After all, looking back at my 23 years, God has indeed provided. Why should I doubt Him now?

With this thought in mind, studying suddenly seems more fun now!

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By Some Miracle… Monday, Oct 13 2008

I actually reached school on time!

Usually when I go to school, i would take 52, then change to 151 at ngee ann poly that side.

Today, like any other days, I just went down to the bus stop, to wait for 52. I saw this bus, which looked like 52 from a distance, and I made the mistake of boarding it without giving a second look. I boarded 162. And ironically on the bus I was wondering how come 162 didn’t come before 52 because usually I would have seen 162 first before 52 would arrive.

It was only when the bus made a 90 degree turn when it was supposed to go straight, when I realised something was wrong. Thank God it was 162, and not other buses, which would lead me to nowhere. I was in Thomson and then I alighted, knowing that there would be 156, which could lead me to clementi, then I would walk to the interchange and take 96 to school. I would be late for sure, but at least I would still get to reach school!

Then 156 came, and I boarded the bus, then I suddenly realised, hey, 156 goes to bukit timah, I can drop off there, and catch 151! Then I would not need to do the long walk to interchange. I would still be late for sure, but at least I could save some energy from walking. So I alighted at a certain bus stop along bukit timah road, together with many other people.

And waited.

Just then the BTC shuttle bus came, much to my pleasant surprise. It was then I realised I had alighted at NUS BTC without realizing it. 151 was following closely behind BTC, but because I boarded the BTC instead, I actually reached school 15 minutes early. And that is the most exciting thing that happened to me today!

——————————-

Oh, and something random.

Q: What’s the difference between Spurs and a triangle?

A: A triangle has 3 points!

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A story of courage Thursday, Oct 9 2008

I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Somthing that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry

Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I’m reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They’re waiting for a cure no one can find

And I hear children’s voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I’m reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You’re the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It’s all Yours

And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar’s hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize

That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father’s world

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You’re the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything

It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God

You’re the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it’s all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours

It’s all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It’s all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours

- Steven Curtis Chapman

Steven Curtis Chapman has been a Christian singer for many years. Recently he lost his adopted daughter from China, due to a freak accident. He and his family was plagued with grief and sadness, that was unquestionable, but it is his faith in God that kept him going. God has given him strength to speak in interviews, to face this loss bravely, and speak of his assurance that he will see his daughter again in the future. And this is his latest song. He has thought of giving up, and stop releasing new songs after the incident, but instead God has transformed him to be such a wonderful testimony for Him! I don’t know, I am really touched, and ashamed of myself after reading this. Will I be able to speak of such strength when I’m in the same situation? I don’t know, but I will pray for it!

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Drawn Together "Drawn" Sunday, Oct 5 2008

Whoever says it is difficult to write on MSN needs to rethink about this. A friend of mine, the artistically inclined person he is, drew the following, using MSN.

Toot a.k.a Betty Boop 20s sex symbol

Ling-ling first draft

Ling-ling final draft.

Characters from “Drawn Together”. Awesome huh!

New! Spanky Ham. Drawn by me on MSN, color added by another friend using microsoft paint. Yea it sucks I have difficulty drawing nice circles, but, for first try I think it’s quite ok!

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Movie Marathon Sunday, Oct 5 2008

Watched House Bunny and Burn After Reading back to back with zhiyang at The Cathay. According to rottentomatoes Burn after Reading is twice as nice as House bunny. But we both agreed we enjoyed House Bunny much more… mainstream movies FTW!

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Wealth Sunday, Oct 5 2008

I have just read about one pastor’s comment on the prosperity gospel, which supposedly focus on financial blessings. The prosperity gospel to be exact actually teaches that if you have strong faith in God, you will be blessed with lots and lots of money. If you don’t have enough money, it means you don’t have enough faith.

When asked about this controversy, the response is that Christianity is practical, and it addresses human needs, and besides he preaches that we should all give a lot in return, and the prerequisite for that is that we are financially stable to begin with.

I think maybe the question has not been answered properly. I mean, he justifies his teaching by the fact that he is not asking us to keep all the money, but rather we give away the money for good works. I agree this is very noble, and certainly it is right to give more if you are more rich, but he seems to mean that yes, since I am not encouraging you to be greedy, then I can teach you that by having more faith you have more money.

The problem with this is God may not work that way. It is not a matter of whether you are magnanimous in giving or not, it is whether the teaching is right or not. This is not positive thinking course, or self-help seminar, this is a sermon, which is teaching the truth. You can’t possibly teach something that may not be right, just because the ends are justified.

As in, there is nothing wrong with being rich. There is nothing wrong with being poor. We will be blessed materially if we seek the kingdom of God. The critics of prosperity theology are always shot back with the argument that we claim that it is a sin to be rich. That pastors cannot be rich, they must be poor. But it is never a sin to be rich, in fact God has purposefully blessed some people with great richness, so they can be abundant in good works (2 Timothy 6:17).

But I guess we cannot insist that the amount of materials we are blessed with is proportional to our faith, which is not really true. Mark 12 gives an example of a widow lady, who donated two tiny copper coins. She was rich in faith. 2 Corinthians 8:1-2 gives an example of the people of Macedonian churches who donate so much, despite their abject poverty. They also demonstrated strong faith. Paul himself, throughout his ministering period, needed to ask for support because he lacked supplies; again he was not rich. The parable of the sower is never talking about financial riches, it has always been about the issue of salvation and spiritual fruit. There are so many poor people all around the world; Burma, places in Africa, Ukraine, but many of them also demonstrate strong faith. This is just not logical, to say that you are blessed with more money because your faith is stronger than mine.

On the other hand, I think we should really trust that God will provide for us, and He really does, in His own way, in His own timing, in His own amount. Yes He will bless us both materially and spiritually. If you pray for material blessings He probably will answer your prayer. And some will be richer than others, but it’s just that simple. God gives according to His will which we can’t fight against. It doesn’t mean that our faith is not as much as his. And also, if we truly want to have more money, we also need to work hard. (Proverbs 21:25, 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15)

Ok, this is really really embarrassing. I am speaking as if I know a lot, when actually I really almost don’t know anything. And I am not trying to be a harsh critic of anything, because I don’t have the right to do that. I’m still pretty much a terrible person who makes mistakes all the time. And I still think that all of us, whether we believe in this prosperity gospel or not, if we truly believed in Jesus Christ, we are still brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s just that, I feel the need to speak out on this error in doctrine, in my own small way. This teaching really doesn’t seem to be logical at all!

Anyway, it is virtually confirmed that I will have interpreted many doctrines or bible verses wrongly. But the following pastors, whom I have grown to respect a lot, have their views on this issue and may help clarify a bit: John Piper, John MacArthur (his messages can be too hard for me to take because I simply cannot emulate fully his idea of how a Christian should live, it’s too high standard for me, but many of his messages are really good), and FAQ sites like this.

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Grace Friday, Oct 3 2008

Grace
by Carolyn Hamlin

Lord, as I seek your guidance for the day,
I find my thoughts unyielding: confusion clouds my way,
But, then when I bow to you, the challenges you guide me through,
Your promises are ever new: I claim them for today.

Your will cannot lead me where your grace will not keep me.
Your hand will protect me: I rest in your care.
Your eyes will watch over me: Your love will forgive me.
And when I am faltering, I still will find you there.

Each new day’s design is guided by your hand,
And graciously revealed as I seek your Master plan.
Keep my footsteps faithful when from you I go.
Return me to the joy that your blessings can bestow.

Your will cannot lead me where your grace will not keep me.
Your hand will protect me: I rest in your care.
Your eyes will watch over me: Your love will forgive me.
And when I am faltering, I still will find you there.

Your eyes will watch over me,
Your love will forgive me,
And when I am faltering,
Lord, I will find you there.

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It Has Truly Been A While… Friday, Oct 3 2008

I think I have never had such a blog drought since I created the blog in 2002. Not even my army days hahahahaha.

I haven’t written for more than a month. In fact, shortly after school has started, I have not written. I can’t even be bothered to add in useless stuff like comic strips or memorable jokes during the times when I totally have nothing to write (now you know.)

BLEAH. Half a semester has passed. And my resolution to study really hard…. doesn’t seem to be working! Ah well I still have half a sem left to catch up.

This semester is like a rollercoaster ride. First, I was happy to have an unofficial 2 day week. Tuesday is an official off day for me, while thursday and fridays schedule only have lectures, and ALL THE MODULES HAD WEBCAST.

So ya, my new-found freedom. As compared to previous semesters, where I’ll have to rush from one place to another, esp. during my dark CSP days. Rush from engine to science, rush back to engine, then rush back to science until the sky turns dark. If not for my friends who are also rushing with me I might just break down lol.

Then, as it turns out, the more time you have in hand, the more time you waste. The same principle as money, you know, the more you earn the more you spend, on unncessary things. So yea, I don’t play TF2 that much anymore, since I really suck ass and keep getting gang banged by the clannies. But I can always find other stuff to do, that are equally unconstructive.

And then I realise, I don’t have that much time after all! Firstly, we had tests on separation process every thurs morning. So the 2-day week utopian schedule has been burst. And then, we have loads of design projects (though none compared to the nightmarish heat transfer project we had last sem), which means Friday also must come to school, cuz we would meet after school to discuss.

And hence, squeezing all my tutorials on monday is a really really bad idea. I can’t finish my tutorials, I can’t understand the tutorial discussion, I resolve to do the next tutorial, then realise the weekend is much too short. So…. even with the 4-day week, I am still behind in my studies

Very quickly, mid term break arrived. Sounds like a lot of time for studying since I only have 2 mid terms this semester. Well….. I started studying on Thursday. And even so it’s 2 hours a day each day. Don’t ask me how the hours are spent. In the most unwise of ways, like traveling 3 hrs searching for the perfect spot to study and end up going home instead. Or meeting spontaneously for a movie outing when I could have just stayed at home.

The first paper, 3121, process dynamics and control, was ok. Made two really careless mistakes but that should not amount to too much.

The second paper, 3421, process modeling and numerical simulation, was DISASTROUS. I don’t mean the paper is super difficult and that everyone also cannot do those kind. It is do-able, and I have a very , forgive the harsh word, arrogant, friend who always sits in front of me during every exam, and after the exam he turns around and says “IT”S SO DO-ABLE.” it’s really depressing talking to him. I’m going to resolve not to talk to him from now on when the exam ends.

Anyway, i failed this paper. Two questions amounting to 50% of the paper I couldn’t do. One of them was because of a damn stupid mistake. I failed to read the question properly, and could’ve done it correctly if I READ FINISH UNTIL THE LAST SENTENCE.

I felt terrible… I give myself some time to cool down. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. Now I feel better, but I know when I think of it later, or tmr, when I have stopped thinking about this, the same heartache will come.

So now I should think of blessings that I have (related to this incident), that ought to make me feel happy instead.

- It’s God chastening me. I prayed for God to make my idolatry get dimmer with time, and He has answered my prayers in His own perfect way.

- It’s God testing me, and showing me that I have not surrendered fully to Him. And for sure, the sin of covetousness is the sin of idolatry which is, kind of the sin of unbelief. Ok, now I’m a little scared.

- God’s ways are perfect, no matter how it turns out, good or bad, in the end, I should stop trusting in myself, in my friends who will probably say i did terrible, but, yea, just trust in Him. His ways are perfect.

- It is God’s will that I can’t fight. After all I did kind of try my best. Not like I have been lazy. YES I was slacking too but I still make sure I finish covering all the topics that will come out for the test. Nothing happens in the believer that is not within God’s will.

- After all, I could have learnt the painful lesson of reading questions properly, only in the finals. That would have been even worse!

And regrettably, to throw in some worldly wisdom.

- It’s only 20% of the whole grade.

- Engine modules are well known to have mid terms that don’t count at all even if the profs say it’s 20%/25%/30%. Finals still virtually determine the whole thing.

- It is still not too late to change my study plan and work harder. After all, the purpose of mid terms is to make us discover our mistakes before it’s too late.

So yup, no more worrying, pray about no more worrying, and try harder again!

Back to Matthew 6:25-34.

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